my future children are up for sale!

........

The beginning of 2014 didn't start perfectly - there were definitely some road bumps that set me back, and I almost feel like I have come to terms with the fact that I could potentially be poor forever (I won't deny the fact that I have looked into donating my eggs and also food stamps...? anyone else out there feeling destitute alongside me? cool). my name is christina + i have no money to offer + i may not ever, thx teacher salaries. hear me roar. 

Last night at FHE, my wonderful psuedo-husband (being FHE mom may or may not be the death of me + my happiness on Monday nights) gave a spiritual thought based on President Monson's talk Your Future Is As Bright As Your Faith. And I got to thinking about how we are rarely in stable, happy, successful, perfect situations. Heavenly Father doesn't want us to become too comfortable, because without change we could not perfect ourselves and progress. 2014 has taught me, so far, that it is okay to not have everything together all the time + to not alllllways be happy + not allllways be charming and fun. it's okay to not know how everything is going to turn out + to have my heart in vulnerable situations because then I prove to myself just how important my feelings are. And it's also great to take time to decide what's important to me, how I feel about certain things, and how I can show love to people that are different from me. 

Also, it's okay (I hope) to know the workers at sodalicious by name and base my validation on the words of phlebotomists who all think Mimi and I are just the greatest humans alive. 

Remember M? I guess he could be considered one of my roadbumps (I know that's dramatic but hello sorry I have a sensitive heart!) at the beginning of this year. But last night, I was invited over to his apartment to watch a movie, and I didn't think he would be there so I said sure! But of course, he was there, and it was actually great to chat with him. We sat in his kitchen for the whole movie and just laughed and chatted and it felt totally normal. It was also refreshing because I didn't feel any lingering feelings for him. When I got up to leave, he put on his shoes and walked me to my car. He asked if we could get in my car and talk for a minute (which, I mean, those are the scariest words to hear cause what did i do?? they're just like texts from parents that say "call me" or "how is your bank account?"). He apologized over and over again for not handling the situation very well and opened up a little to me about why he felt like we couldn't date. Next thing I know, he was telling me how he still liked me, and maybeeee in the future he could take me out on a date and we could try again? Likeeee maybe this weekend, if I wasn't busy? 

I have no idea where any of that came from, but I just told him to take his time to do whatever he needs to do, and we can hang out whenever he wants to! But obviously something didn't work the first time so let's not rush to make anything happen. 

It felt good to say to him, to say the least. And it was fun to bond with him again! 

And now, top snapchats of the week: 

Life is cool, guys. 

Also p.s. is there such a thing as a functioning relationship where both parties just decide they like each other and bam we'll work through all our problems together? Two of my roommates have something figured out so TEACH ME YOUR WAYS. 

ox/C