Saturday night I got together with some friends for little tinfoil dinners (which we have mastered, by the way) and double date action. Us girls sat and chatted on the tree logs while the boys did manly stuff like start fires and carry around big sticks for no particular reason. 

Just kidding. But it was a fun night in which we told scary stories and bonded up at Squaw Peak. Sans kissing.  

i know these pictures are hard to see - just for clarification, i am NOT proposing in the picture on the right.

Yesterday was Jennae's birthday!  And our little Mimi girl made it back just on time for a celebratory dinner at Pizza Pie Cafe to ring in the big 2-1!!!  And even though we didn't get drunk, it was such a fun night. 

Recently, with all this birthday activity going on in our apartment, I've come to realize something. I love celebrating other's birthdays, but when it comes to my own, it's a weird phenomenon. I stopped caring about my birthday after I came to college. And I don’t mean, “OMG, I don’t care but I really do actually. You better give me presents and cake.” No, I legitimately don’t care. It’s whatevs. I just want my parents to give me a Trader Joe’s gift card (or any form of money, really) and to maybe make out with someone at my party (jokes!! kind of).  It sounds depressing but it’s not. It’s actually a relief. But this year, all this birthday commotion has been SO FUN!! I love being with by bestie boos celebrating and having the time of our lives. 

And it was so fun to focus the attention on this little lady and bond with all our friends over how much we love her. 

her fan club (i love these boys)!

the girls of ct 29 are back in business! 

guess who's backkkkk?

sorry we're models. 

highlights of the week[end]

---------------

:: "Summer 2010. We went hard." "We don't want to hear that..."

:: Monster's University. Like, OMG. Can I please transfer schools? 

:: People not responding to messages that I know were sent/read.  Please, take a second to write me back so that I can move on with my day, not worrying that you and everybody else in the world hates my parents for having me. 

:: Somebody told me that if you left your eye makeup on at night after cleaning your face, you'd wake up looking beautiful (she says she had to learn all these tricks after getting married because she wanted to look cute in the morning waking up next to her husband). 

I'd say looking like a zombie would have been more accurate. At least in my case. (pictures to follow. maybe). 

ox/C

- - - - - - - - - -

See that water bottle that I'm holding up there? Your not-so-averagely-sized Smart Water bottle? Yeah. Let me tell you. That's not [smart] water in there.  Before going to work yesterday afternoon, I almost completely filled that thing with Dr. Pepper.  

Worst. Decision. Ever. 

After spending a long day in the sun, I was tired and dehydrated (so obviously DP was the proper refresher) and seeing that 2-liter bottle in the fridge at Little Ceasar's (oh so I also ate a lot of pizza yesterday) felt a lot like seeing the face of God and having Him wink at me. 

One hour later (I imagine myself saying this in the voice of the narrator from Spongebob): I was shaky and so full - especially after Bombay House takeout with my dad (stop judging my eating habits!!) - , unhappily knowing that I was going to feel generally gross the rest of the day/evening, as my stomach had now distended to twice its normal dimensions with a screeching food baby.  

So when I woke up this morning, excited to have achieved a normal heart rate again, I went downstairs to fill up my water bottle (with water this time) before heading off to work. Then I saw the remainder of the 2-liter bottle of DP. And I swigged those last few drops (tablespoons...cups?).  Basically, I'm the worst at being healthy.  Bikini body what??

 

p.s. People still Tinder??

we all have to find validation somewhere, right? thanks bobby.

oh p.p.s. i CANNOT stop listening to John Legend (So High and Everybody Knows) and Mumford & Sons (After the Storm and Home). suuuuuch good feel-good-wrapped-up-in-your-sheets-trying-to-avoid-finals music. among other things.

cheers to the freakin weekend.

Let me first start off by saying that this girl did so much to make my birthday weekend so awesome!  And so full of surprises.  Remember A?  Well earlier in the week, that cute boy asked if he could take me out for a birthday dinner on Friday night, the day before my birthday.  After a yummy meal, he mentioned that we had to swing by my apartment to grab a movie we had rented the night before but never got around to watching (you know, the movie Mama? spoiler alert: NOT scary. or good, even.)  

Now, I'll admit, I was in a world of my own, having a great night with the boy I liked and couldn't get enough of that week, so anything could have gotten past me, really. But mostly, I have really great friends that are good at keeping secrets.  A and I walked in my front door and we were greeted by my most favorite people in the world. So I screamed. And cried.  Mostly because I was so touched by all the effort that was put into it.  I've never ever had a surprise party!  And Jennae got to work as soon as I left the apartment for dinner and made such a beautiful Minni-style cake I couldn't help but make room for it even after stuffing myself at dinner (*sidenote: A was so tricky about this, he even suggested we get dessert at the restaurant, full knowing I wouldn't end up ordering anything. or maybe he was just stalling?  Again, anything could have gotten by me, I swear. If you have ever wanted to swindle me into giving you loads of cash, you missed your chance cause that would have been the perfect night).  And her trusty side-kick Jeff Dunn (swoon I love that boy!!) was there to clean our entire apartment.  I'm so so thankful for such great friends.  

Saturday, I went on a beautiful bike ride with Papa Smith and good ol' Mikey Smith to Kneader's, after getting a very tearful phone call from my sweet mom about how sad she was that she couldn't be there.  I am just so very much obsessed with my family.  Then, Jennae and I spent a glorious 4 hours at 7 Peaks, which included:

:: way too much bumping & grinding in the lazy river

:: hot dogs, hamburgers, and fries. oh, and DP. need i say more?

:: a completely flat tube that we took on a ride anyways

:: spying on all the hot rugby players (and their teeny tiny blond wives. i hate myself so much right now)

Then Jennae treated me (yes, treated me!! where did this girl come from??) to a pedicure, after which we hit up our favorite restaurant: Chili's. Bottomless chips and salsa for #lyfe.  We ended the day by getting together with the boys to grace the Orem Days carnival with our presence.  Two hours and a firework show later, I was a happy camper (even the Ferris Wheel was fun - how could it not be if a boy was there to hold my hand and kiss me at the top??) and was ready to hit the sack.

So obvi, it was the perfect weekend to top off the perfect week (movies in the park, cuddling, basketball games, scooter rides, tanning, and everything else summer).  

Here is where the post turns into your basic sad-girl-sob-story.  So feel free to stop reading, k? Cool.

I think that this post did a mediocre job at expressing just how great my week was  - beginning to end.  After spending the last weekend in Seattle, I came back so so excited to reunite with A!  I had been thinking about him all weekend, even though we had just barely started to rekindle our flame (ew I'm embarrassed I wrote that phrase down - who am I??) right before I left for Washington.  We spent the majority of Tuesday morning and then the afternoon together.  He invited me to a movie at the park on Wednesday night, during which we cuddled and laughed and bonded. We both kept saying, "This is so fun! This is so summer-y! Look at us having a summer fling and being so cute about it!" Ok so we didn't say all those things, but I think we were both thinking it. I hope?  After the movie, we went back to my place and bonded with Jennae as she went through a dramatic ordeal with a boy.  As I drove him home that night, we kissed and I felt so so happy!  Before getting out of the car, he said, "Hey, I think I'd really like to date you." I got major butterflies. My life was so perfect! Summer was starting! I had a boy!

Each time I was with him, I liked him more and more.  Never have I been with a guy who not only wants to talk about anything and everything - from games of MASH to the most controversial subjects - but appreciates and encourages my opinion.  I loved getting into a conversation with him because it meant I had a chance to analyze!

The strange thing about all of this was the timing: our fling was kickstarted by a random night, after months of platonic friendship, of watching a movie. In which we cuddled.  And had a grand old time. And wanted to keep being together?  In the weeks leading up to this, and in the days during it, I kept having this thought: "I am ok being single right now because I want to be the best I can be for the next guy that comes into my life."  As much as I wanted a boyfriend, I also wanted to become better, in all aspects of my life - physically, emotionally, spiritually, mentally - so I could attract the absolutely best person I could.  Yet I just couldn't shake the strong feelings I had for A!  It was so fun to be his, to always have fun plans, to get random yet validating texts or calls throughout the day, just pure fun.  It just felt right - I could continue my quest to better myself while I was with him! Yeah!

Then.  On Sunday night, after not talking to each other much throughout our busy day, he came over to say hi.  We chatted, laughed, and held hands for a few seconds.  After about 20 minutes, he sat on the edge of the couch, looking ready to leave.  I told him that if he was feeling tired, he could go home and we could see each other later!  He looked at me and said, "Ok I think I will. But first, I have to tell you something that happened on Saturday that made me sad."  He stated that He had woken up on Saturday morning, feeling really happy about the night before that we had spent together (oh my gosh NO not together, just for the evening!) and went to the Temple.  Where he had a recurring feeling that he wasn't supposed to be dating me right now. Which sucks because he really likes me.

I should be fine with this!

Two weeks ago we were talking about our respective dating lives..to each other!

I wasn't even looking for a boyfriend!

We weren't even serious.

But it hurt.  I started crying. We hugged, and I told him to go home.  There wasn't much else to say? He walked out the door and I crashed on the couch and bawled. I'm serious, guys, bawled. I got so swept up in all the emotions and I couldn't help it. I'm sure my roommates were upstairs so confused at the hysterical freak downstairs (ok, it wasn't that bad, but...you know).  Part of me wanted to hear a knock on the door and he would come back inside and we would start our whole night over, sans tears.  Now the worst part is, we won't be talking or seeing each other, at least for a while.  For good reason - I understand everything he said and it was impossible to even be a little mad about it.

At this point I have successfully ventured through my depressed phase. I have stopped at the bakery near my office and bought donuts and chocolate milk (because I deal with my emotions like a 5 year old) and I am now angry (mainly because I know I am going to have to run a lot to work off those donuts and chocolate milk).

And I am definitely not staring at my phone, wondering if and when he will text me, because that is something that lovelorn teenage girls do, and while I might still be in the final throes of teendom I will not be a slave to cliches.  And I am not thinking about our summer list full of bike rides, block parties, movies in the park.

Ok so I am!  Give me a couple days, guys. I'll be fine.  And now I have all the time in the world to become a better person!  Tiny fist pump.

the land of the green.

So, I'll admit it. I loved Eat, Pray, Love.  In fact, dare I say it is one of my favorite books?  For a while in high school, I was proud of this because I thought it was cool to like it - you know, kind of a trendy feminism kick.  Then, everyone started hating on it post-movie production and so I kind of let my love go by the wayside.  But ti's weekend like this past one that make me remember why I love that book - traveling is the BOMB.  Seattle was teh perfect weekend escape to get my hippie side all excited.  Quitting my job sudenly seemed very reasonable as long as I could sub in as some activist-movement guru barista that lived in a lfat with musician roommates that explored liberal ideas and never showered.  It sounds pretty poetic, don't you think?  No? Ok let's move on then. 

I had such a great weekend with these people.  We went to Seattle to send Seth's brother Tanner (the biggest, best boy around) off on his mission to Ghana (oh the hilarity of the puns that ensued), but we found ourselves having the time of our lives playing in the big city!  After arriving on Friday afternoon - delayed because of a flat tire which landed us in a darling little town in Oregon - and playing wiffle (is that even how you spell it?) ball and barbecuing with the family, we spent all day Saturday in the city.  I had been to Seattle multiple times, but this trip provided some new experiences:

:: a rally - picket signs, megaphones and a large crowd included - against Istanbul (or Turkey? I never did find out) in which we performed a more Turkish version of Everybody's Shufflin (they were going for a more political stance by yelling the name of a communist leader Chapulin - but could care less). we were filmed, even though we yelled comments like, "who are we fighting for again?" and "boycott thanksgiving - no turkey allowed!"  

:: a Ferris Bueller-type adventure in which we tried to get to the top of a skyscraper, but failed after being called "kids." i am NOT a child. i went to the doctor by myself once, ok??

:: making friends on public transportation?? what a thrill - i was pumped to go out and make new buds all over the city!

:: sleeping in a "haunted" house.  

:: clam chowder. that's all. 

And now here is a photo dump on the whole experience: 

we love tanner!!

photo shoots - per usual! 

ox/C

life, lately

Ok hi it has really been a while.  And I wish I could say things like, "Sorry readers! I have been so busy between Fashion Week and all the Caribbean cruises my husband has been taking me on! But here's a really cool giveaway for all of you! And a lot of glamorous pictures with cool backstories!" But I can't say that because, well, none of those things are true. Not a single thing - other than the grammar and actual structuring of the sentences - is an accurate view into my life. I'm husbandless, fashion week-less (note: I did not say fashionless), cruise-less, and, let's be honest, reader-less. 

And as much as I love all the fashion/DIY/mommy blogs out there, it puts us all in such an intense degree of competition with one another.  Like, where did all these rich 23 year old couples come from and how do I become one? Right now I feel like I'm constantly pinching my pennies to survive off the occasional splurge at JCrew Factory, let alone buying matching outifts from J Crew for me and my budding family. With that being said, does anybody need a babysitter? Hair braider? Back scratcher? Hire me, I'm shameless! Anyways. We are all in such an intense degree of competition with one another, and it is simply unfair to have some of the scores rigged from the get-go. So when I wake up in the morning and catch a glimpse of myself in the bathroom mirror looking like a greasy combination of a used makeup-remover pad and a comb filled with sporadic hairballs, the only thing keeping me from tipping over into the frothing pit of insanity is knowing that other people look like this before getting ready, too. And then I meet (or, rather, stalk them via cyber world) that one person who just genuinely looks as though they were cut from a statue of fine marble and coated in a thin layer of the “glow” stage from the Bare Escentuals makeup procedure, and my life is ruined. They wake up looking flawless. They get out of the pool looking coy and sexual. When they get dolled up to go out, it’s almost too much to observe, like staring into the surface of the sun.  

So with my already heightened insecurities, today while on an errand for work in the bookstore, I had a moment with some EFY kids. I swear there are millions of them here, and their sole purpose is to block you from wherever you're trying to get. I'm not kidding. Anyways, onward! You know when you're walking past or standing in front of people, and they start laughing? Something about laughter happening behind you makes you feel like it's got to be regarding you.  This is basically how it goes.  You walk in a place, hear a bunch of haha's, and think:

What the heck is so funny? Am I laughably hideous? Is my walk stupid? Am I a bowlegged, pigeon-toed freak? Do I have poop on my jeans? Oh, gosh– did I poop my pants? No, no way, I haven’t done that in years. What could it be? Oh man, they’re laughing again. Is someone doing standup comedy in here? Nope, no standup going on — they’re definitely laughing at me and my entire physical appearance. Is it this shirt? Is plaid out? Was plaid ever in? Is it because I’m not wearing pink on a Wednesday? Ahhhh, ANXIETY OVERLOAD!

And it's one of those Mean Girls moments where you wish that you could at least happily quote the movie while staring social anxiety in the eyes.

"You can go shave your back now." Think about it. “You can go away now.” Meh, that’s alright, but not nearly as effective as telling someone to kick rocks and take care of the jungle growing on their spine. 

But instead, I had to endure it ALONE while standing at the counter trying to purchase a pencil sharpener. Sorry we're not all perfect 15 year olds with braces and acne and can't date yet...oh wait. I should be laughing at you.

So do you kind of get the idea of the day I'm having? I mean, it has been a really good day! J and I went to lunch at J Dawgs followed by a quick re-fueling at McDonald's (DC for life - I'm going strong on one year of addiction *fist pump!) and, of course, it's Friday! Also, the majority of the Smith clan is here! So these mommy bloggers and EFY-ers with way too much teen angst can't get me down. Ya hear?? 

Here are pictures:

i wish i could retell the story of this night and do it justice. but i can't.

it's spring, yo!

 

salt lake real game! and i swear my mom doesn't have lazy eyes, she just blinked. it happens to us all, right??

this beautiful place i live in?? my gosh i love this kind of weather

(oh how glad i am bbyJ is back! target trips for life!)

my new kicks. ya dig??

 I know none of this is even close to anything important or exciting, I promise I'll step it up to my A-game for the next post. But no promises as to when that will be. 

Oh and p.s.

please take note of the battery percentage. unless you're mature. in which case, don't. 

ox/C

daisy buchanan || a beautiful little fool

You guys, The Great Gatsby.

Throughout the entire viewing of the show - which, of course, we dressed up for - I was so enthralled with the glitz and glam of Baz Luhrman's latest masterpiece.  I could not stop idolizing Leo, all the Prada dresses, the swing-time music, Leo, Daisy and HER RING my gosh that thing was gorg, Leo, the amazing mansions that had me thinking yes it's ddddefinitely OK to marry an older man just for his money...and I mean however old it requires and, of course, Leo.  

Let's talk about Daisy.  First off, Carey Mulligan was on point with her roll as the darling southern belle socialite that landed a millionaire as a husband.  Secondly, why can't I be her? I mean, I get that she kind of has zero morals, a child she doesn't care about, and would be today's equivalent of a drunken Real Housewife, but by golly I will idolize her all the more for it.  She represents the way that all women want to be loved.  Because of her, a man became a millionaire and drove himself crazy by showering her with love.  I mean, I came pretty close to this last week when my dad slipped me a twenty to go buy lunch...

And I get that the story is supposed to discourage people from the ritzy life of the drunken millionaires and socialites of the day, BUT IT DID A TERRIBLE JOB OF CONVINCING ME because raise your hand if after you saw that movie, you thought to yourself, "Wow, that life looks terrible." Exactly. We would all give a loved one away if we could spend just a day yachting with the rich and famous Wall Streeters and Bootleggers from Fitzgerald's 1920's. And I would give a whole lot more to see Leo raise a glass to me at a party with fireworks booming behind him.  Oh what a dream. 

"I hope she'll be a fool--that's the best thing a girl can be in this world, a beautiful little fool... "

-Daisy Buchanan

waiting + tmi.

so began the adventure to the doctor's - i had high hopes going in

 About a month and a half ago, I woke up with a cold sore on the inside of my lip. Oh I know, it's totally gross. The only people I told, in fact, were my roommates (I find it necessary to tell my roommates everything) and my dad.  Who, upon seeing the inside of my lip, made a face that conveyed a message of oh my gosh how are you my daughter that's NASTY put it away.

After weeks of putting up with it, and trying all sorts of ointments, my lip got worse so I went to the doctor.  This had been the first time in a year and a half that I had gone to the doctor's office, and I had absolutely forgotten how terrible it was!  This is because growing up, my dad - although actively involved in his healthcare profession- ingrained in his children a "walk it off" mentality.  He grew up with 3 older brothers, and had 3 boys of his own until I popped out and thus his hand at nurturing was relatively new.

When I was little, my dad was ill-equipped to deal with my constant baby-girl whining and fragile body, and so the phrase “you’re fine, you don't need to cry” became the default. (A worthy pairing to my mom’s constant overreacting to every scrape and bruise. Her purse, as far as I knew, contained only a tube of lipstick, a wallet and seven thousand Bandaids.) They're a good pair. She carefully placed the bandaid on and kissed the wound, and he ripped it off when I was least expecting it. 

So now, I tend to think that my body can heal it self.

For a while, when I was in high school, my family didn’t have health insurance and I learned to get by without visiting the doctor. Oh, I didn’t learn to be careful. I just used duct tape to keep broken toes together, drank powdered Vitamin C for everything and discerned which websites will give you a somewhat accurate diagnosis and which ones will just tell you that you have AIDS.

Let's get something straight: when your doctor's appointment is at 2:30, it's unrealistic to expect to actually see the doctor anywhere close to that time.  You must sit in the waiting room.  There's no chance of not waiting, they made a whole room for it.  It's like, all the doctor's are back in their little rooms all thinking to each other, "well we can't take anyone back here now, that would be wasting the room!"   So you sit there, you've got your fishing magazine or some outdated, ripped version of Highlights For Kids!, but you're only pretending to read it while really looking at other people wondering what they've got.  And let me tell you, everytime my name is called, I'm so tempted to look around at the other people.  For one, I'm excited because my young, naive mind thinks I'm going to actually see the doctor momentarily. For another, I want to say something along the lines of, "Well, I've been chosen. I'll see you all later."

boredom ensued quickly after leaving the waiting room

Then you remember - you've just been moved into a smaller waiting room.  My first visit with a doctor moved rather quickly - I think I only had time to send 3 or 4 snap chats (tip: don't ever send snap chats from a doctor's office. you WILL be asked, "whos's the father?? " "do you have aids?" or a simple "what's wrong?", at which time you actually have to tell people what you're in for. that was my low point.)  After examining my lip for a while, the doctor said, "This baffles me, I've NEVER seen anything like this before!" whilst trying to come up with a subtle way to ask me if I had a significant other that I was "active" with (I'm not entirely sure what that means)? Or maybe I just play the trombone? No doc, I've just got a weird thing on my lip that even you don't know what to make of it.

being turned away for having "trombone lip"

She sent me on my way to see another doctor - one that would hopefully know what to make of my lip.  And let me tell you, after waiting 2 hours to see him, I had high expectations. After all, I can only refresh instagram and read the same "WARNING: If you think you are pregnant ..." sign so many times.  He came in, didn't say much other than "Sorry, we had an emergency - a little boy's nose would not stop bleeding after he stabbed himself with a pen."  First of all, I knew the story because I was in the waiting room with him and his mother. Trust me, I knew the story.  Second, confidentiality?? Like, what was he going to do, go to the next room after he was done with me and say, "Sorry, I was held up by a girl with a nasty herpe on her lip and it was so gross it took me so long to take care of." Not cool.

However, after he examined it, he simply cut it off.  Like, took clippers to my lip.  And it was gone. I could have had one of my roommates do that to me months ago (right girls?? I think I could have gotten one of them to do it...probably the same one that took my blood right at our kitchen table because we were bored on a Sunday afternoon). 

post-doctor's visits. with nothing but a prick to show?? also, it looks like i'm wearing glitter eye liner. I'M NOT I don't know what that is.

 In other news, FELIZ CINCO DE MAYO!  Yesterday, we went to a park with chips, salsa and sangria (virgin, duh) in hand and had ourselves a little fiesta.  Complete with cousin cuddling time and some vintage basketball shorts.  Mexican Independence Day brings out the crazy in us...?

And we ended the fiesta with a newly installed weekly tradition! 

Jk I'm not sure it will ever happen again.  But it was really fun, and I would totally trust this girl to take my blood any day.

All in all, here's to medical procedures and a post that lasted too long on issues that may induce nausea.