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See that water bottle that I'm holding up there? Your not-so-averagely-sized Smart Water bottle? Yeah. Let me tell you. That's not [smart] water in there.  Before going to work yesterday afternoon, I almost completely filled that thing with Dr. Pepper.  

Worst. Decision. Ever. 

After spending a long day in the sun, I was tired and dehydrated (so obviously DP was the proper refresher) and seeing that 2-liter bottle in the fridge at Little Ceasar's (oh so I also ate a lot of pizza yesterday) felt a lot like seeing the face of God and having Him wink at me. 

One hour later (I imagine myself saying this in the voice of the narrator from Spongebob): I was shaky and so full - especially after Bombay House takeout with my dad (stop judging my eating habits!!) - , unhappily knowing that I was going to feel generally gross the rest of the day/evening, as my stomach had now distended to twice its normal dimensions with a screeching food baby.  

So when I woke up this morning, excited to have achieved a normal heart rate again, I went downstairs to fill up my water bottle (with water this time) before heading off to work. Then I saw the remainder of the 2-liter bottle of DP. And I swigged those last few drops (tablespoons...cups?).  Basically, I'm the worst at being healthy.  Bikini body what??

 

p.s. People still Tinder??

we all have to find validation somewhere, right? thanks bobby.

oh p.p.s. i CANNOT stop listening to John Legend (So High and Everybody Knows) and Mumford & Sons (After the Storm and Home). suuuuuch good feel-good-wrapped-up-in-your-sheets-trying-to-avoid-finals music. among other things.