Road tripping to Arizona this past weekend is one of the better decisions I've made in my life. An hour into the ride, Mimi and I realized that we hadn't listened to any music yet (this is shocking because usually music comes on before seat belts are buckled) because we were too busy chatting. And by chatting I mean swapping stories (sorry I slapped you, *Andrea M, for having the same costume as me when we were 7) about childhood. Needless to say, the drive went by so fast because we were driving through THE most beautiful part of America (I mean, probably) complete with wild horses and Native American trading posts.
*names were not changed, sorry
*names were not changed, sorry
We stopped occasionally on the side of the road for photo-ops, bought cookies at Jacob Lake Inn, ate lunch in Kanab, shopped around downtown Flagstaff, and dropped into Mimi's little mountain cabin to take a look around. Then rolled into Phoenix like big girls that take road trips and stuff and we were greeted by Sister Steele (or, like my phone informs me when I'm texting her, just Sister) and homemade chicken noodle soup.
Friday morning Mimi took me on a hometown tour complete with Dunkin Donuts and no bras. So it was my kind of morning. The three of us - Mimi, her mom and I - went out to lunch and (duh) went shopping!
Friday night, we met up with Jesse and Kyle to make hoppin plans for the night. Because we are who we are, Mimi and I suggested we go out to a fun dinner and maybe get dessert? Cause we're wild and crazy and young? But then after the four of us brainstormed for a while, we hopped in the car and headed to the Arizona State Fair.
Now, I know state fairs aren't necessaryily evocative of "classy" or "economic." But they are hilarious and absurd (have I told you about the time I was in 4-H and had to make a matching wool outfit for me and a sheep so the two of us could walk down the runway together? there are SO MANY things wrong with the whole scenario, i realize) and nothing brings people together than fairs. So we all held onto each other tight as we put our life into the hands of a carnie named Bubba (probably) and a rickety swing ride, and carnivals typically leave one rubbing their belly in bed as they suffer from gastrointestinal issues from all the terrible food they ate (in my case, it was strawberry lemonade infused with sushi and weed NO JOKE). But it was so so worth it because no one should pass up burlap sack rides and the opportunity to create hilarious Vines in the car during post-fair traffic.
Maybe you heard Mimi and I say that we were going to Mexico during our trip? Yeah that was a real idea UNTIL we found out you have to pay $60 for insurance... -__-
So Mimi's family took me to the next best thing: Guadalupe, AZ. And let me tell you. It was just like Mexico. After which we headed up to Goldfield Ghost Town, which is THE cutest place ever. I felt like I was in Tombstone, especially when Mimi and I dressed up like Saloon girls and took old-timey pictures. But actually, we looked like prostitutes. And the lady that owned the shop took us back to the changing room and honestly made me take all my clothes off. What the what. I didn't actually want to get naked, I just wanted to dress like a hooker.
Sunday morning was a sad one because we knew our trip was over. The goal was to wake up early enough to leave by 6 am. But when Mimi woke me up at 6:08, how could we NOT just lay in the giant king size bed and chat and laugh? For half an hour? So when we finally dragged our bodies out of bed, packed up the car, and hugged the Steele's goodbye, I was prepared for a long ride home.
No. It was THE funniest/saddest car ride I have ever been on. We listened to every song I own, quoted Dane Cook, took little naps, stopped for snacks at a Native American general store, and all this before lunch in Kanab. Which didn't go over so well.
So Mimi and I took our time eating at Subway in Kanab, which included walking across the street to take a picture in the giant shopping cart cause WHY NOT, before hitting the road again. Mimi took over as driver and we pulled out onto the main highway. And by pull out I mean peel out. We were really hyper cause we thought that shopping cart incident really made us hoodrats, Mimi started quoting Avril Lavigne while I put my feet up on the dash and almost IMMEDIATELY after pulling onto the road, we pass a cop. Who wasted no time in flipping a u-turn (I tried to spell u-ey/u-ee/you-ee but obviously it's a hard word to spell, so we're gonna stick with u-turn) and turning on his lights.
NOOOOO.
So yes, the rumors are true, we got pulled over.
Mimi and I, on the way to Phoenix, had agreed that maybe it would be kinda cool to get pulled over? It would give us street cred? We have so many great excuses that the cop would for sure let us go?
But when we actually got pulled over, not only did we take back everything we said about how cool it would be, we also didn't use a single excuse! All we could do was stupidly laugh and revel in the fact that we got pulled over! The officer came to my side of the car and said "The reason I'm pulling you over today ma'am is because of speed." Because of speed? Not speeding?
Aaaaaand Mimi got a ticket. And the poor girl was so calm the whole time, I was so darn impressed. After being charged $115 and shedding a few tears, we rolled up the windows and drove away at a very legal and safe speed. It was only then that we thought of what we should have said to Officer Cuckold.
"you know what officer, i know i'm going over the speed limit but it's because i have intense diarrhea. so this is perfect, could you actually give us a police escort to the nearest restroom?"
"officer, we're sorry, we are on our way to a funeral. for my mom."
"oh, you're pulling us over for speed? we don't do speed, we mostly stick to marijuana. what's your favorite way to do speed, just out of curiosity?"
Too bad he had already driven away.
Once we hit Beaver, we thought we were home free. We were basically in the Utah Valley, if you looked hard enough you could almost see the Y? Maybe? But we were wrong. Everyone decided to drive like idiots in the left lane and no one was really moving. So Mimi and I made it a game. We had our designated enemies, our first being the blue Avalon with all the kids in the backseat. Then we had our allies, specifically Tamy with the UofU plates who stayed pretty close to us, so she had our respect. I'm sure we looked psychotic cause we were yelling and clapping everytime someone made a good move/turn signal/block, and our full-blast music definitely inspired our best car dance moves.
The blue Avalon was always one step ahead of us, and they were pretty pushy. They tailed everyone, flashed their brights, and dangerously cut people off. So when we came up behind them and they switched into the right lane, we were in shock. He was letting us pass him?? THEN we see that he is holding a note up in his window. We were expecting something like "F U!!" or "Learn to drive!", for which we were plenty prepared to flip him the bird and speed off.
Instead, he was holding up a piece of paper. With a phone number on it. And all I could do was laugh and take a picture! And by picture I mean the worst demonstration of photography you have ever seen. Because I can't for the life of me read that number! I have texted every combination of the numbers I can read, but to no avail.
Sorry, blue Avalon. It was a good race while it lasted!
So there was my weekend in pictures. I was spoiled rotten by the Steele family and I think I got a great ab workout from laughing so hard. All. Weekend.
ox/C
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