29.11.12

calling your bluff.


Last week, I learned – yes, for all intents and purposes, we will use the word learned, even though the more appropriate phrase would be “struggled with very single rule, with occasional luck that involved little to no strategy" – how to play poker.  Interestingly enough, I can’t get enough of the game! I find myself pulling up an app on my phone when I’m bored, just to sit around a cyber table with cyber people that kind of weird me out and bet cyber hundreds/thousands/millions (ok, no to the million part because that would mean at one point I would have actually HAD millions…and that never happened) of dollars. 

This, however, does not mean that I’m a supporter of gambling.  The “poker face” tactic has never and will never be one that I can master.  It’s a huge guessing game that in some instances you think you have great cards, but then you can’t know for sure whether you will win, can you? You have no way of knowing the other players’ positions or confidence or actual investment in the game.  Everyone wants to make a move that least exposes them to vulnerability and if necessary, allows them to clear others from the game.  And I mean, you can’t blame them because after all you are trying to accomplish the same thing from your end of the table.  But it can be extremely frustrating to see that fighting for the upper hand is the absolute point of the game.  I’m sure you’re all thinking well duh…you play games to WIN.   Well this would be a good time to tell you that this entire poker analogy is in reference to dating (but the part about me learning to play and downloading the app is totally true…I really did do that?).

Here’s how it goes.  You are dealt cards, and within minutes or even seconds, you are given the opportunity to decide whether you want to “check” – see who else is going to stay in that hand, see if any of the bets are even within your range or worth your time – or “fold” – meaning, your cards won’t get you anywhere and you’ll just end up cardless and chipless if you stay in.  Those with high confidence might like a challenge, stay in for as long as they can hoping their cards will get them the jackpot in the end.  Those with low self esteem in their hand will be turned off and realize they don’t want to put themselves through the pain.  Here’s the thing; last week, I was thrown into a game with a major poker pro. Woops?  And at certain points, I was all-in, feeling confident. Then the next thing I knew, I lost the hand and was out of the game, feeling cardless and chipless.    

It can be frustrating to see that playing games in search of the upper hand is now conventional.  There are all these strategies and so called rules – don’t call him, he’ll call you; pretend to be busy every once in a while; don’t text back right away.  Why can’t we just call when we want, text back when we can, and say what we are thinking?  There is simply one answer: then the game becomes…no fun.  In fact, it’s not even a game anymore.  And playing the game is really looking out for your best interest, because until those final cards are turned over and all bets are in – sometimes, your entire stack of chips is in as well, so you’re really all-or-nothing here – you need to protect yourself against those trying to fool you. 

So here we all are, us singles, sitting around a huge poker table, some of us wearing sunglasses and hats which makes it really hard for me to tell what you’re thinking, in which case I’m going to avoid you because you’re weird and hard to read.   



Aside from – or better yet, in the midst of – the game of poker, I had a wonderful Thanksgiving!  It was a great kick-start to the Holidays.  I spent the day with my aunts and cousins, then went on to spend the weekend in Park City with some friends.  School is really testing me right now, but my countdown to Christmas is diminishing quite quickly, and I’m having a good time, even if my grades are not.  Hope you had a great Thanksgiving as well!!

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